Lord, Is It I?

I just read President Uchtdorf's talk from the Oct. 2014 General Conference.  It is hard for me to separate out my thoughts from the healthy to the unhealthy.  President Uchdorf is saying that if we don't step back and evaluate and honestly take stock of our good qualities as well as our bad, then we will be deceiving ourselves.  He says:

 "But being able to see ourselves clearly is essential to our spiritual growth and well-being. If our weaknesses and shortcomings remain obscured in the shadows, then the redeeming power of the Savior cannot heal them and make them strengths.¹² Ironically, our blindness toward our human weaknesses will also make us blind to the divine potential that our Father yearns to nurture within each of us."

I am reminded of an experiment that I did in college (go Aggies) wherein I tried to only have positive thoughts towards people that I passed while walking through campus.  It is natural to notice a person's physical appearance and make judgement calls based on what we see.  These judgement calls are based on our own biases and likes and dislikes, making it natural for many of our thoughts to be negative, because we are all different.  Different clothing likes, hairstyle, physical makeup of our bodies.  That is the worst one of all: to judge someone based on the size/shape/color of their body, something that is completely out of their control. 

In college I wondered what would happen to myself if I only let myself have positive thoughts about the people that I passed.  The main thought being they are a child of God.  Wow!  How my perspective changed.  All the outward physical things I could notice no longer mattered.  The longer the experiment went on, as with anything we do for a length of time, I began to do this naturally, without thought or effort.  Then I noticed that my heart began to change towards the people I encountered.  I began to wonder, instead, about their well being or what might be happening in their life.  Do they need a friend?  Are they having a bad day?  Are they healthy and happy? 

How does this apply to President Uchtdorf's teachings?  Well his teaching applies to me in this way, because if I am to take an honest look at my life there are some people in it that I need to use this experiment on in its concentrated form.  In other words every time I think about them I need to think of the good and dispel as quickly as possible any negative thoughts, even if I think they are true.

Must Have's- Books

I was recently asked if there are any books that I think are must have's in terms of picture books/read-alouds.  At the time, for some reason I felt put on the spot, and didn't really allow my brain time to process the question in order to come up with a good answer.  So here is my real answer...

There are A LOT of great books out there, there are also A LOT of books that have no substance, and truly are not worth our time.  The job of sorting out which is which, can be time consuming, and arduous.  Not ideal for a home schooling mother with young children.  So my recommendation at this point, because this is the source I use to determine which books are best, The Read Aloud Handbook, by Jim Trelease, and Honey for a Child's Heart, by Gladys Hunt.  They are both stellar books! 

Most people feel that reading to their children is important.  I also use to feel that way.  I now feel, since having read these books that reading together as a family is important, and that there are books to read, and books not to be read.  There are ages that books should be enjoyed, and ages that maybe they shouldn't be, or aren't ready for that book just yet.  There is a reason that a classic is a classic and that revising it, or adapting it, or retelling it, makes it not a classic.  I use to know that reading to my children is important.  Now I know that reading to my teenagers will also be important.  Now I know that reading out loud while my children are at home will make up a sizable portion of my homeschooling efforts.

The main reason I would recommend these two books for the question posed, is because of their extensive list of great books.  In The Read~Aloud Handbook it is referred to as the treasury of read-alouds, is divided by category as well as grade and is 115 pages long!  In Honey For A Child's Heart it is divided by categories, as well as ages and is 116 pages long!

Jim Trelease's web page

Gladys Hunt's blog

You can't buy Gladys' book from her blog, but it's a great blog, and has links to web sites where her book is for sale.

I welcome your comments.

Happy Reading!

Some thoughts I've had over the past few days....

I am so grateful for neighbors who are willing to help, despite their own plans, at a moments notice.

I am grateful to have family and friends (Mary) that are willing to drop their lives in order to help make sure mine doesn't fall apart!

Grateful for the things that happen that could not be anything but the Lords careful orchestration of our lives (Mary)!  You must be the reason I went to the instacare first!

Really nurse, you think a CAT scan and x-rays are more important than a priesthood blessing?

Grateful for worthy priesthood holders who were prepared to administer at a moments notice.

I wonder who our home teachers are.

Trauma 2?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ambulances are cool!

I love you primary children's hospital!

Thank goodness for family, and safe places for my other children to be.

I love volunteers!!  They get the bigger picture and what it really takes to put "the child first and always."

(I had that thought a few times...)

I love volunteers!!!

I am grateful for orthopedic surgeons, opthomologists, nuero surgeons and trauma teams, oh, and CAT scans and x-rays.

Where would we be without casseroles, I love them!

Even though I had a clash with our nurse, I am so glad that she was trying to do what she felt was best for Caleb.  I do have a strong mother bear instinct, but I also know I need others to help me sometimes, and I am glad she brought her knowledge, expertise and concern to the table...even though we had differences.

I am grateful for homecomings.

The phrase "get back to normal" is a myth.  Things happen to change us, to make us better, returning to where we were before means we did not gain all we could have from the experience.  Besides that I was in the middle of turning our house upside down anyway, so we couldn't have returned to the way it was.  :)

The Relief Society is just as much an army as the missionaries.  WOW!  They came.  They cleaned, organized, rearranged, chatted.  All of the bases were covered, I didn't even know the names of some of them!!  And when the dust cleared there were treats and flowers and needed supplies waiting in the kitchen for us!!

Last, but most strongly felt over the last two days....I am grateful for Caleb, and his many guardian angels!!

My Favorite Time of Day

Awhile ago I had a conversation with my oldest son, then 6.  I do not remember any details except his response.  He said "My favorite time of day is bedtime, because that is the calmest time of day"  Lest you get any false images of our home, this is not always the case!  Especially lately.  Bedtime is the time of day I try to get my children to sleep as quickly as possible so I can then relax. 

What bedtime should be though, and what I am trying to create for me and my children is just what Jeremiah said, the calmest time of our day.  I use the word 'our' there with purpose, because without a calm parents influence it could not be calm.  These are the ways we are trying to make bedtime a calm time...

First of all divide and conquer!  It is great advice in times of war but we frequently apply it to our parenting as well.  One of us is more or less in charge of helping the boys get teeth brushed and washed up and use the potty before bedtime.  The other one is doing pajamas and reading to the boys in their bedroom.  We might also sing to them at this time.  So a child is either in the bedroom with a parent or in the bathroom with a parent.  This means that neither John or I have all three during this part of the routine.

I have moved a rocking chair into their bedroom with the intent to have a calming influence in their room while they are getting ready for bed.  This is where John or I sit while we read to them and talk to them about their day and sing to them.  This where we sit while we wait for them to sleep.  It provides a comfortable place for us to be, so that it is not unpleasant for us to carry out this routine.

This is an important step, not only for bedtime, but also for our relationship with the children.  They have an opportunity to tell us about the events of the day, and ask questions openly.  This is a great way to get to know your children and develop an important open dialogue situation with them. 

Last but most certainly not least is patience!  This word seems to be creeping into every aspect of our day and of my job as mother.  How could I possibly be successful without it?!  It can take them awhile to calm down and be ready to sleep, sticking to the routine helps avoid attention driven behavior.  They learn more and more that it is a special time and will crave the calmness of it if we stick with it.

Happy Mother's Day

How can words express gratitude for the single person who has had the most influence in my life?  You have seen me through to adulthood- to my own independence, and yet I still want you in my life.  You have given me so much, but the thing that stands out the most is your patience and love. 

Always you were patient with me.

Always you loved me!

Always you were there, the constant presence of someone that is always patient and kind, someone that loves you as only a mother can has turned me into the person I am.  So when you tell me you are proud to be my mother, don't forget your own role in accomplishing who I am and have become.

You taught me to pray, because I saw you praying.

You taught me to love because I saw and felt your love.

You taught me to weather life's storms no matter your own personal cost, because I saw you do the same.

You taught me to have faith, because I saw your faith.

You taught me to be smart about the decisions I make, because that's what I saw you do.

You taught me that life should be fun and to find the good in it, because you always have.

Thank you for all these things, and so much more!!

Happy Mother's Day!
I love you!

What Works

This past week or so I have been thinking back on our year of home schooling.  Evaluating and analyzing how things have gone, what worked, what didn't, what I need to change or add, Whats missing etc...

Many things have gone really well, and in that sense they have worked for us.  For our math curriculum we use Math-u-see, Jeremiah is doing really well in that area.  The science units I found online are working great.  After all the analyzing and evaluating I can do, it boils down to this:  what has worked for me, for us, this year is prayer.

Prayer has brought patience where before I can assure you, there was very little patience.

Prayer has brought conviction, the conviction I needed to stand up to nay sayers, and the like.  The conviction I needed to help me stay the course even when things were hard- really really hard.

After all the research one can do, and all the studying about home schooling, prayer helped me know what methods and curriculum and ideas were best for us.  Prayer helped me see through the dust to the gold.

Prayer has taken a day filled with anger and frustration and yelling, and made it peaceful, healed the wounds that were created and helped us move on.

Prayer has given me courage to take on something so big that I cannot see the end from the beginning, or even what the middle will look like.  I can feel the Lords reassurance and for now that is enough.

Prayer has brought answers from the most unlikely places, help came to me when I didn't even know that is what I was praying for.  I was praying though and asking for help, and help came and answered a question I didn't even know I had.  Yet, I did have it, and with out the answer things could not progress.

Prayer has done all these things and so much more.  I did not know that I was living a luke warm life until I took on a project so big I couldn't even comprehend where to start or how to start.  I could not start without the Lords guidance and help.

First Trip Up American Fork Canyon

We went up the canyon on Easter Sunday.  I felt like I was being rebellious or "weird" for not doing something more traditional.  After we had all eaten though, and were exploring the new life of the canyon, I began to ask Jeremiah and Caleb questions about what they saw that was different.  Were the leaves different and if so, how?  How about the trees? The grass? Bugs?  It is always fun to watch your children discover things.  The excitement in a child is one of the best parts of parenting.

I was surprised to find myself loving the new life of the canyon, of spring time.  The timing could not have been more perfect- Easter Sunday.  Usually it's day of family and a nice ham, Easter baskets and candy, gifts for the little ones.  None of these things point to The Resurrection of Our Savior.  As I walked among all the new life of spring time though, it seemed to me that everything was pointing to the Savior!

The new life of Spring and Christ Rising from the tomb to live again.  I couldn't help but think of the winter we are coming out of though- how dark and snowy it was.  Yet all these plants are on schedule to bloom and grow in their own right, despite the winter.  And we too can grow and bloom in our right, despite the harsh things this world can throw at us.  Despite our own weaknesses, shortcomings, and sins we can apply the Miracle of Christ to our lives and have new joy and hope, just as we can see all around us at this time of year!  Christ rose on the third day and we too can over come because He over came!

I am grateful we took the time to enjoy the canyon before it seemed like the canyon would be ready for us.  We went and enjoyed the new life, the beauty of nature at this time of year, and the Resurrection of Christ!