Awhile ago I had a conversation with my oldest son, then 6. I do not remember any details except his response. He said "My favorite time of day is bedtime, because that is the calmest time of day" Lest you get any false images of our home, this is not always the case! Especially lately. Bedtime is the time of day I try to get my children to sleep as quickly as possible so I can then relax.
What bedtime should be though, and what I am trying to create for me and my children is just what Jeremiah said, the calmest time of our day. I use the word 'our' there with purpose, because without a calm parents influence it could not be calm. These are the ways we are trying to make bedtime a calm time...
First of all divide and conquer! It is great advice in times of war but we frequently apply it to our parenting as well. One of us is more or less in charge of helping the boys get teeth brushed and washed up and use the potty before bedtime. The other one is doing pajamas and reading to the boys in their bedroom. We might also sing to them at this time. So a child is either in the bedroom with a parent or in the bathroom with a parent. This means that neither John or I have all three during this part of the routine.
I have moved a rocking chair into their bedroom with the intent to have a calming influence in their room while they are getting ready for bed. This is where John or I sit while we read to them and talk to them about their day and sing to them. This where we sit while we wait for them to sleep. It provides a comfortable place for us to be, so that it is not unpleasant for us to carry out this routine.
This is an important step, not only for bedtime, but also for our relationship with the children. They have an opportunity to tell us about the events of the day, and ask questions openly. This is a great way to get to know your children and develop an important open dialogue situation with them.
Last but most certainly not least is patience! This word seems to be creeping into every aspect of our day and of my job as mother. How could I possibly be successful without it?! It can take them awhile to calm down and be ready to sleep, sticking to the routine helps avoid attention driven behavior. They learn more and more that it is a special time and will crave the calmness of it if we stick with it.
